. Sunday, 19 September 2021 .
Note: This post has been kept in my draft for more than 3 years, and after several times of editing — I think it's time to let my thoughts out to the world.

People do fall in love at first sight.

Be honest, the first thing we noticed about someone is their looks.

"But I don't fall for their looks, I love them for their personalities." 

Yes, visuals are subjective. But let's say you meet someone, a bit far from your expectations of "good looking", would you still look at them?

You would only get those feelings if you're close to them. So if you're not, then the chances are—you won't.

You pick your choice from the visuals in front of your eyes. You choose to talk to them, you choose to get to know them. What if you don't like that person's looks? While they're maybe not your visual type, they might be "the nice personality-kind of type" that you've been waiting for but you missed it just because they're not that "good-looking" enough for you to dive into their lives.

So yes, falling in love at first sight is real. You please your eyes first, then you'll want to get to know them. After you feel the connection, you'll fall in love. Simple math.

Without visuals, there's no love.

It's hard to find love based on personality alone. I've seen cases where people hinted that they like you—only to change their minds after they see your appearance. And that's harsh.

As cruel as it sounds, not everyone is kind enough to accept you the way you are.

So don't invalidate people's feelings just because they fell in love at first sight. They just like what they see. The actions afterwards that matter.

What about you? What do you think?

. Sunday, 8 August 2021 .

Now don't get startled just yet. I'm not the one who's COVID-19 positive— it was my baby brother.

On the 10th, my brother was diagnosed with COVID-19 positive. And since he's still staying with us, that made us close contact with COVID-19. Truth to be told, my first reaction when I got to know his result was that— I just laughed. A lot of thoughts were running through our heads at that time. Is it dangerous? Will we be okay? Who should we contact?

We didn't know what to do.

So I decided to step up and lead through the procedures for my family. Thankfully, the staff involved were very kind in explaining the procedures that we should do next. And two days later, we went for swab tests and got ourselves quarantine for another seven days.

To be honest, quarantine was not so hard for me as I am technically a homebody. The only struggle that I had was I won't be able to satisfy my cravings and urges to go out during that period. My neighbours were kind enough to send us food supplies and groceries for us to consume during the quarantine period. We were blessed, really.

But, though I was okay physically, my mental health indeed took a turn during that period.

I'll seem ungrateful saying this, yes, COVID-19 can be monstrous, but at that time — somewhere deep in my heart, I hoped that I would get infected as well.

We even slept on each other's beds before his diagnosis came out.

I want to know how the pain was like — how you wouldn't have any appetite for every single meal, how you'd lost your sense of taste and smell, how you'd curl yourself on your bed because you're just too tired to even do anything — I want to experience all that.

I want to feel pain.

In any way.

I feel like I'm too numb. I can't feel anything. I'm not okay.

I keep contemplating about life. I have so many unanswered questions — and being trapped inside my bedroom for almost two weeks got me worst.

But during that time, I'm thankful towards my friends who had my back during my lowest period. I loved how they tried so hard just to cheer me up and were constantly reminding me to take a break whenever I feel exhausted. Thank you for all those late-night talks, for staying up with me and accompany me to finish my assignments — may Allah bless you all with happiness in this world and in the afterlife.

The ending kinda felt rush, is it? Blame it on my writer's block.

. Wednesday, 7 July 2021 .


How's everybody doing? I hope you had a good month—because it wasn't for me. My schedules are pretty hectic these days. And since our programme doesn't have final exams, we, as usual, are bombarded with tons of assignments and deadlines until the end of the month. I'm feeling a bit lethargic, stressed out, and is going through questionable thoughts and episodes from time to time. 

Anyways, here's my last month's favourites!

Favourite songs of the month.

OH MY GIRL - Dun Dun Dance

Brave Girls - Rollin'

TXT - 0X1=LOVESONG (I Know I Love You)

Favourite drama of the month.

Begin Again (2020)


First off, a drama with Gong Jun and Zhou Yutong? Yes. Romance? Yes. Marriage-centred? Yes! This is a very funny drama with a plot twist; the domineering and straightforward CEO, Lu Fangning is a lady instead of a guy, while the gentle doctor, Ling Rui, is a guy instead, and how their characters mature over time amazes me so much. The chemistry between all characters is great and though there is a second male-lead, there was no obvious external conflict that had happened. There's also a time-skip which helps the story as well as the characters to mature and having their roles reversed, like how Lu Fangning who was once assertive, became soft and gentle after their son was born and how Ling Rui changed into someone more straightforward, and the one who tries to find ways to make their relationship work again after 6 years. The misunderstandings are resolved relatively quick so it's a nice watch. I've enjoyed this drama so much and I hope you guys will enjoy it too!


I'm currently seeing chunks of words instead of sentences, so pardon my English.